Thank you for visiting this site. You have come here because someone near and dear to you has passed on. Please accept my sincere condolences. I don't know where you are in your journey, but you will find understanding, comfort and assistance here. Please know that I care. If you are in crisis, seek help immediately, even if the first step is to contact me.
My date with darkness began on a warm, sunny afternoon when Dave and I decided to take a walk, something we had done so many times before. The only sign of something being wrong was when I heard him fall. There had been no utterances, no reaching out for me. Dave had died suddenly and unexpectedly. He had suffered a cardiac arrest. All human effort was made to save him, but it was not to be. Only I would go home again.
My life, as I knew it, was gone in an instant. For the first time in 32 years, I was alone and afraid. Shock, grief and guilt consumed me. I could not imagine how I was going to continue living without Dave's enduring love and care. I wanted to go with Dave, because living in a world without him was just too overwhelming. I prayed each night not to awaken the next morning, because reality was too hard to face each and every day.
But, live I did. With the help of family, good friends, therapy and medication, I slowly started to emerge from the darkness. However, I was faced with what to do with the rest of my life, when life as I knew it had ended. I was now alone, and without my best friend. Our lives had centered around the two of us, and now there was just one.
Ultimately, I realized that I would have to do the hard work of finding meaning for my life. It would never happen unless I was willing to be an active participant. I had to somehow find the courage to start again. I had to find some reason to go on.
Most importantly, I knew I would have to live a life of service by which to honor my
marriage and my husband, who taught me much and loved me unconditionally.
Remember, we must live each day as our last, for it's not enough to merely survive, we must thrive. The clock is ticking for each of us.
Make each day count. Have a purpose in life.
Donate time, money, love and prayers for others. And, time waits for no one.
Dave's favorite quote
Author unknown
